While text messaging has become one of the most frequent ways we communicate with our friends, the missing body language, tone of voice, and eye contact can make it difficult to tell when someone is being dishonest. That said, it's not impossible. There are a number of subtle hints you can train yourself to recognize that will to help you detect written lies hiding in your SMS and iMessages. Here's what you should look out for.
Liars Use Distancing Language
Be skeptical when someone tries to distance themselves from the story. A common way to do this is to avoid the use of personal pronouns such as "I" and "we." Additionally, liars may distance other people from the story in an attempt to hide their identity, referring to them as "some people" or "some friends."
Lairs Also Use Noncommittal Language
Lying is uncomfortable for everyone involved. Most liars don't want to fully commit to a lie and will often use noncommittal language. Popular noncommittal phrases include "I guess," "possibly or probably," "must have," "pretty sure," and "we'll see."
Liars Are Great with Empathetic Tricks
Sometimes people are just being nice, but at other times they're playing you. Depending on the situation, empathetic language may signal a lie. Good liars know that our emotions have a strong influence over what we chose to believe.
Liars Use Qualifying Statements
Many liars set up their lies with qualifying statements. These statements show that the liar is uncomfortable with what they're about to say. Some examples include, "I hate to tell you," "don't take this the wrong way," "to be honest," "I'm just saying," and "I hear what you're saying."
Liars Abruptly Change the Subject
Just as they do in person, liars will take advantage of any opportunity they can to change the subject from their lie. Fortunately in text, it's a little more obvious.
This is just the bare-bone basics of spotting a liar in your text message communications, so let's get this discussion going. What are the telltale signs that you've noticed from liars in your texts? Post your thoughts below, but let me warn you—I've also mastered the art of lie-detecting in comments.
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13 Comments
One thing that drives me insane is sometimes I'll be texting my wife and all of the sudden it'll feel like I'm talking to her sister or her mom. Like if they ask a question that she should already know the answer to, or when she can't ever answer questions that you know she knows the answer to. Or just starts asking a lot of questions in General.
People are always looking out for ways to spot a liar. But what these techniques have in common with polygraph tests is that they actually tell us that the person is uncomfortable with what he or she is saying, not necessarily that the statement is a lie. Some sociopaths, for instance, can blatantly tell a lie w/o the slightest nervousness, whilst some very shy persons get wrongly accused of lying only because their social anxiety & discomfort shows through. So, I'd caution everyone to use these tips as GUIDELINES only, don't interpret them to be 100% foolproof and start accusing friends and family right & left of lying!
the easiest way to avoid lying to, is not to be with some one who is afraid to tell the truth .
THIS IS WHAT MY "best friend" TEXTED ME. SHOULD I BELIEVE THIS? I know she did something wrong and I won't get in to the details but she denied her doings---
And I'm fine if you don't believe me. But i just want you to know that i don't lie and I've never in my life have taken anything from anyone. I can't change your mind about what you think. But i know that i would never ever lie to you, thats a fact. And yes everything i said was absolutely 100% true. I feel the same as you do. I hate when people lie about things they did. That's why i don't lie
She's lying. First she accepts her fate that you believe she's lying . If I haven't lied I'm not ok with the other person thinking I did. Then she tells on herself big time when she says, "...and I've never in my life have taken anything from anyone." Now think about it, who has Never in their Life Taken Anything from Anyone? It's illogical and unrealistic but the liar doesn't realize this because they're out of touch with the truth.
Referring to herself in the 3rd person instead of 'owning' the statement, "But i know that i would never ever lie to you," and then getting to strengthen her claim by repeating herself unnecessarily, "... thats a fact. And yes everything i said was absolutely 100% true."
In her final sentences she attempts to appear as if she can relate to your experience without actually relating directly, "I feel the same as you do. I hate when people lie about things they did." An honest person would be more inclined to make a personal relation statement like, 'I know how that feels. I wouldn't do that to you, you're my friend...'
If nothing convinced you of her dishonesty up to this point then her closing should, "That's why i don't lie". So Distraction bs 1., Distraction bs 2. And that's why you should believe me.
Whatever it is, she did it.
Hello Alexa, can i send you a letter to look at for me please? Sharee
Hey there i am a very professionally trained lie detector . I mostly deal with lies in texts and the success rate is 90%. Could you please just tell me if you had asked her .. Like something related to Did you take my ... ? . Had you asked anything in that subject ? Cause she replied with I have never in my life taken anything from anyone !
Hi. Could you look at my story to see if this person is lying please?
Hi. Im currently seeing an older women and she is kind of known to be naughty with younger guys ESPECIALLY when she is drunk. She recently went on a cruise with her daughter who is also a bit naughty. My friends were putting things in my head and I allowed it to get to me so just wanted to see if anyone was good at spotting lies from texts. This is what she said after I asked if she was with anyone as I saw her online and she quickly went off when she saw me and she was supposed to be "asleep".
I was in bed at 10.30 with Izzi I absolutely promise. We are having a very relaxing time and I wouldnt dream of doing anything like that. I chatted to rod for 30 mins until 11 and then slept all night. I can't believe you would think that of me - I'm sad??In fact I haven't spoken to a guy since I got here - I just love being with Izzi xx
I wasn't online and I didn't see your msg because I was asleep. I absolutely don't deserve this - you know me better than that I hope.Kyal, this is ridiculous - I promise that I was in my bed with Izzi at 10.30 . I leave my phone on silent next to the bed and I didn't look at it until I woke up - I thought your comment about behaving was you joking with me - I've done nothing wrong and would never do - what more can I say?
Fiona Client: Kyal, I am not going to even chat about this - I have been completely honest with you and you must accept that.
Thank you - you really upset me - I would NEVER do anything like that
Hello, I would like to know if there is truth in thes
To Forsake All Others
e text from my husband.."And I never had sex in our marriage only with you." "The stripper was not topless it was not planned and I did give you the truth and I have been texting Rick he never responds he only the only time he texts me is for money." I believe both are lies. My gut tells me my husband is lying. He gets upset when I question him. I am not at peace. He says "As long as me and God know the truth is all that matters to me."
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